(via strictlysexxxual)Source: sexonight
Don’t give a pornstar blowjob. To me, it always looks so…fake, fast, and without passion. When you give a blowie do it because you want to, because you want to please him, don’t just go through the motions. Slowly, passionately, creatively.
To quote Monty Python, “You don’t…
a powerpoint on english sweets
Okay but what’s a jelly baby?
you don’t know what a jelly baby is??
these little fuckers are adorable and tasty. they’re literally little jelly sweets covered in icing sugar and molded into the shapes of little cute cartoon baby people and they each have a name and a backstory so i bite the head off first to save them the pain
(via anikajivraj)Source: can-u-not-my-wayward-son
when someone says “I love you” to my girlfriend
when someone compliments my girlfriend
when someone has a crush on my girlfriend
when someone makes a comment about my girlfriend’s boobs
when someone makes fun of my girlfriend’s nose
when someone stalks my girlfriend’s facebook wall
when someone tries to guilt trip my girlfriend into sending nudes
when someone talks or jokes about me and my girlfriend having sex
when someone expects my girlfriend to have a crush on them